Wednesday, December 19, 2012

India China

Map of India
Map ofChina
Total Population
Military Manpower Available
Fit for Military Service
Reaching Military Age Yearly
Active Military Personnel
Active Military Reserves
Active Paramilitary
Total Air-Based Weapons
Total Land-Based Weapons
Total Naval Units
Towed Artillery Systems
Merchant Marine Strength
Major Ports and Terminals
Aircraft Carriers
Patrol Coastal Craft
Mine Warfare Craft
Amphibious Operations Craft
Defense Budget / Expenditure
Foreign Reserves
Purchasing Power
Oil Production
810,000 bbl
3,725,000 bbl
Oil Consumption
2,438,000 bbl
6,930,000 bbl
Proven Oil Reserves
5,700,000,000 bbl
12,800,000,000 bbl
Total Labor Force
Roadway Coverage
3,316,452 km
1,930,544 km
Railway Coverage
63,221 km
75,438 km
Waterway Coverage
14,500 km
124,000 km
Coastline Coverage
7,000 km
14,500 km
Major Serviceable Airports
Square Land Area
3,287,590 km
9,596,960 km

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Rebina plant

I thought this is really the rebina plant that was used to make the rebina drink, apparently it is not..

above Wilson shared that this is the substitute of the real rebina which is called Blackcurrant..

from the rebina uk website you can see the real rebina which is used to make the rebina drink, unfortunately it cannot be plant in the hot weather here..

the botanically name for "fake rebina is called - Hibiscus sabdariffa, see wiki below..

how to harvest the "'fake" rebina then? website below show how to process the rebina from the fruit to the drink, basically just boiled it and add sugar..wah la..that's..

but still the question is when is the best time to harvest or plug the fruit? the before and after flower of the fruit look about the same..

Thursday, December 06, 2012

When parents give away their money too early

When parents give away their money too early

(The Philippine Star) | Updated November 10, 2012 - 12:00am

At their 54th anniversary, my friends made a decision to distribute their combined assets among their living heirs. Their rationale,“Para walang gulo.” (To avoid trouble). They added one proviso: “While still alive, income from these properties will be used to maintain our present lifestyle inclusive of medical expenses, extravagant trips and unlimited shopping.”

“That’s easy,” replied the heirs. The income was substantial to indulge the old folks with a bonus that the heirs can use in any manner they wanted.

The first year passed without a hitch, but soon the problem surfaced. Each child used all kinds of tactics to keep the money from his parents. It reached a point where the poor retirees had to beg for sustenance, robbing them of the dignity they worked hard to uphold.

What went wrong?

“Bad decision,” said a cautious friend who warned the couple of this scenario. “Children are so unreliable when it comes to inherited money.”

Money received, which was not expected and not a direct result of something they worked for, is not given the same value as money earned with their own sweat and tears. They lose their sense of propriety; gratitude is tainted by greed and decency gone. This is compounded by in-laws who can tilt or convince their respective spouses to throw out good sense and filial affection like soiled rugs, “Honey, they’re going to die anyway, so why waste good money on them?”

To avoid falling into this vulnerable, pitiful state, keep these 10 tips in mind:

1. Do not retire. If you’re over-aged, retire and get all the benefits but find another income-generating job or open a business that will keep you active physically and mentally. Travel and bond with true friends, play a sport, learn a new hobby and volunteer in your community or parish. Don’t loaf around. Your spouse will hate you because you’ve become a sloppy, listless bum with nothing good to say about the household and things that you never bothered about before. Solve crossword puzzles, play Scrabble, write your memoirs, and above all, read — this will keep you alert and keep Alzheimer’s at bay.

2. Live in your own place to enjoy independence, privacy and a solo life. If you move in with your children, your rank or degree of importance is reduced to that of a bed spacer who has no place of honor or, worse, like crumbling furniture merely displayed with no added value. Might you kowtow to conform to their own rules that are not kind, considerate or mindful of you? If you witness your children engaged in a war of will and wits with your grandchildren, whom will you side with? Will they even appreciate your arbitration? Remind your children that silence is not a sign of weakness; you are merely processing data that is taking longer to complete.

3. Hold on to your nest egg, bank deposits and assets. If you want to help your children, do give, but not to the extent that you wipe out your life’s earnings, singing heroically “not a shirt on my back nor a penny to my name.”Staying solvent and in the black is a good hedge against all kinds of tempests. You will sleep better, you will not be afraid to express your opinion and you will be confident about yourself.

4. Don’t believe your children’s promise to care for you when you grow old.Priorities change. Many children are not guilt-ridden or filled with a sense of moral obligation when the wife and offspring take top billing in their lives. There are still children who would consider it a privilege to show compassion, genuine love and deep concern for their parents but be warned that not all children think alike.

5. Expand your circle of friends to include young ones who will definitely outlive your old BFFs. Keep up with new inventions, trends, music and lifestyle including all the scams and schemes you should guard against. Remember that when you mix with the young, you also open a fresh avenue to channel your thoughts, experiences and values through so that the lessons you learned are not lost, forgotten or buried with you.

6. Be well groomed and smelling fresh of spring water all the time. There’s nothing more depressing than seeing people exhale when you walk by because you reek of baul (camphor chest) or lupa (dirt). Old age or bust, don’t look and smell like a corpse when you’re not one yet.

7. Do not meddle in the life of your children. If they ask for your counsel, give it, but be ready to accept that they may not take it. Their situations in life cannot be compared to the situations that you experienced in your life. The playing field has changed and they need to develop their own set of survival skills. If you raised them to be street smart, they can handle themselves in tough situations and be able to read people. Champion and encourage their dreams and desires but on their own terms.

8. Do not use old age as your shield and justification for turning grumpy. There’s nothing more annoying than an arrogant, old fool. Welcome each day as another chance to be kind and forgiving, to yourself and to others.

9. Listen to what others may say. Do not throw your weight around just because you are a septuagenarian or a nonagenarian. You are not a depository of knowledge. Even if the roles have been reversed, make growing old a fun-filled, pleasant experience for you and your brood.

10. Pray always and focus on your eternal life. You will definitely leave everything behind, a final journey detached from burden and care. Be more accepting that, sooner, not later, you will croak. Prepare your swan song with a humble and contrite heart. If you believe in a merciful and loving God, there is no need to strut like a star. Nobody is.


Sunday, December 02, 2012

How to Add AES to Garmin

found this..

download and run the .exe file then copied all the gpi file into SD Card..

testing now

Friday, November 30, 2012

The Grieving process - how to Grieve Properly and Cimpletely

Place : Bukit Kiara Equestrian
Speaker: Dr Edmund Ng
Date : 1 Dec 2012
Organizer : GGP Outreach

- 6 years ago his wife passed away
- devastated, painful, lonely
- Tan Sri Yusuf shot himself 3 years after his wife died - cannot bear the pain of losing his wife.

Type of Losses
- tangible - home
- intangible
-,secondary - divorce
-,developmental - child leave the home

introductory statement
- death is part of life
- life is unfair - accept it is a fact
- when the person time up, there is nothing can be done
- learn to cope with present and live for future
- cognition - how we think, how we feel and how we behave - effects our life

Nature of Grief
- painful
- unpredictable
- unforgettable
- personal
- solitary
- unique

5 possible outcome of grief
1. Complete return to original state
2. Improved - come out a better person
3. Partial recovery
4. Permanent damage
5. Progressive decline

Consequence of not grieving
- not grieve successfully - prone to illness
- total absence of grieve - not healthy

Three position to avoids
1. Victim mentality
- poor me - self pity
- counter - survival mentality

2. Cure me mentality
- normal grief is not a sickness but a step by step journey that must be taken

3. Bypass mentality
- suppressing grief
- negative energy eating inside you

Grief chart by Davidson 1984
- two years of grieving is fine

Traditional model of grief
- Kubler Ross Stage of Death
1. Denial and isolation - dream
2. Anger and hostility
3. Bargaining - one more chance

Worden task in mourning
1. Accept the reality of the loss
2. Work through the pain of grief
3. Adjust to an environment in which the deceased is missing
4. Withdraw emotional energy and reinvest the life back

TIME Approach
1. Time
- time is needed to grieve
- it is a process and journey
- no quick fixes

How to grieve properly
1. Embrace the grieve
- relax in it
2. know the normal manifestation of grief
- emotional
-- guilt
- cognitive
-- disbelief
- behavioral
-- eating with taste
-- breathing problem
3. Doing the grief work
- effort to confront and experience the grief
- just hidding will not solved

Inherent danger

T - Telling the Loss
I - issues and resolved
M - Meaning is sought
E - Ending

Telling about loss
- opportunity to process
- talk help to release the emotion
- help to confront the denial

What is denial?

Tears bring relief
- bring relief and healing to the soul

I - issues
- issues hinder recovery
- cognitive issues
-- guilt - self guilty - self blame
- confess and deal with it once
- responsible to yourself
- impulse of the moment - take it seriously

practical issues
- finance

Spiritual issues

M - meaning is sought
- try making sense
- moving on

E - ending or referral
- new normal - without present of the love one
- what is recovery -
1. Able to talk about the decease

Desire outcome
1. Regain equilibrium
2. Able to function as normal life

When to refer
- disproportionate fear of death - big reaction of sickness
- unresolved theme - better to die

1. Expose - phobia
- talk about phobia level by level until it is gone
2. Bipolar
- mania and depression in a split of second
- bipolar and grieve is two different thing
3. Complicated Grieve
- double loss - loss the parent and relative disown her

Speaker : Dr Ng Wai Seng
Topic: Helping Children Coping With Grief

- her brother passed away at age of 9
- her brother at 14 was not inform and later came back and he was devastated
- her sister a caretaker for the sick brother - never have childhood
- mum carry the guilt until today
- father disconnect emotionally to the son

4 Tasks of mourning
By Sandra Fox
1. Understanding
- it is ok to ask question
- learning to accept the loss

2. Feeling the loss
- it is ok to grieve

3. Commemorating
- it is ok to talk about deceased person

4. Moving on
- reorganized our life

Understand grief reaction in children:-

1. Cognitive Emotional
- denial -
- guilt - blame them-self,
- acting out - teenager, smoking, tattoo etc

Is not about challenging the authority

Physical & behavioral
- somatic - hollow stomach, headache etc
- regressive

Age - different age react differently
Cyclical - come back again and again
Increasing - intensity in grieve increase
Confused - could said I hate God of taking Dad away
Attention seeking behavior - ask friends help

What children need in grieving
1. Information and explanation
- go with their question
- google - how to explain death to the child
- make connection to things surrounding such as tree leave fall, dog die etc

2. Help in expressing feelings
- see in their drawing, painting
- allow time to response

3. Involving in goodbye
- saying goodbye with the coffin

4. Reassurance

Ways to help grieving children
- grieve map - google

What we need to help grieving children
1. Eyes to see grief
- monitor their behavior

2. ears to listen to grief
- empty cup - allow pain to be pour to you
- allow small hole at the bottom to leak through

3.heart to embrace grief
- pay attention
- own
- accept
- embrace grief like a friends
- treat grieve like a friends
- be positive with grief

Grief = Love

Thursday, November 29, 2012

13 Healthy Foods to Eat

Here are some foods that are bursting full of health benefits but somehow never make it to most people's plates.

Starting today, make sure you include them in your everyday diet.

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Pumpkin: Pumpkins are fibrous, and boosts immunity

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Pomegranate: Pomegranate juice is full of antioxidants and helps lower blood pressure.

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Turmeric: Turmeric is said to have anti-inflammatory properties and fights cancer.

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Dried plums: Plums are packed full of antioxidants.

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Swiss chard: This green leafy veggie is full of carotenoids that protect the eyes against the effects of ageing.Click here to join nidokidos

Sardines: Sardines are heavy on omega-3, full of calcium, iron, magnesium, potassium and vitamin B.

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Blueberries: Blueberries are known to improve memory and mental health.

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Gobi berry: The goji berry is used to protect the liver, and to improve immunity longevity, and fertility

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Guava: Guavas are great for the digestive system, as well as in controlling high blood pressure and lowering the risk of cancer.

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Cabbage: Cabbages are loaded with a chemical called sulforaphane that is known to fight cancer.Click here to join nidokidos

Cinnamon: This super-spice helps control blood sugar and cholesterol.

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Beetroot: Beets are a rich source of folate and are thought to be a natural way to combat cancer.


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Pumpkin seeds: The seed of the pumpkin is full of magnesium, and is known to lower the risk of early death.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

D LInk DIR 300 setup

router IP:

wifi id - jonathan12

Monday, November 19, 2012

sims 3 pet animal distorted

problem - the dog look tear apart..

googling around, it seem like it is a bug..

this guy seem to have some solution..need to check it out..

below is the step..test it out see if it work...



Version Build_3383
Version 3.0


Version Build_3383
Version 3.0


After the end of the download winrar unzip the file with the password "exterminadordownload."
Copy the file for your operating system:
If 32-bit copy the files from folder 86
If 64-bit copy the files from folder 64
Paste the files in C: \ Program Files \ Electronic Arts \ The Sims 3 \ Game \ Bin
If the version Build_3383 not recognize your video card, download the version 3.0
Pros: Removes the deformation of the animals.
Cons: In some cases alter the resolution and brightness of the game, a banner in the left corner of the game all the time and cause a little lag. 



there is another solution about rendering below

this site give a good information about the graphics card support

Cards known to have a problem:
  • Intel G33/G31 Express Chipset Family
  • Mobile Intel(R) 965 Express Chipset Family
  • Intel GMA 4 Series
  • Nvidia GeForce 6200
  • Nvidia GeForce 6150SE
  • Nvidia GeForce 7100 (not supported)
  • ATI Radeon Xpress 1250

my computer spec
Intel G33/G31 Express Chipset Family
Chip Type: Intel GMA 3100

Sims 3 -how to upgade without error

try to watch this youtube and learn and try to see if can do the sims 3 upgrade without error..

Sims 3 - how to mount the Sims 3 file in the virtual CD drive


1. create the Drive in Power ISO
2. Open up the sims 3 file using PowerISO
3. Mount in the virtual Drive
4. You will see teh virtual CD in your file explore

note : if you restart your computer, the viurtial CD will be gone and you need to repeat the above steps to get the virtual CD, if not, you will encounter the error of asking you to insert the sims 3 CD when you try to play...

sims 3 pet installation log

1.  create the drive in Power ISO
2. Mount the CD in the Drive
3. Run the Setup file

question - I did not replace the TS3 file in the Bin folder, but it is still working...strange..may it already consider the sims 3 TS3 file that I repalce, hence in sims 3 pet don't need to do this anymore..

below youtube did replace the TS3 file in the Bin folder...

sims 3 pet problem

problem - installed and when try to play, it will ask to upgrade the sims 3 to the latest version, after upgrading  and it cause problem -

try to play sims 3 pet, and already done the creation of the pet play house etc..then suddently it is not working..kind of like the sims 3 and sims 3 pet version is not match...

sims 3 version =

sims 3 pet version -

Sims 3 error - need to insert sims 3 CD

problem - try to play sims 3 after overnight, got the error -  game disc found please insert the sims 3 pets game disc before proceeding

solution - monnt the sims 3 CD in the Drive using Power ISO, the reason is after PC restart the Drive dissapear and when you try to play sims 3, it try to look for  the CD, hence the PowerISO kind of creating the CD in your computer to let sims 3 dictate it..

it work..

try to find crack for this..yet to find one..

How To React In A Tyre Blow Out

DURING YOUR DRIVING.  This clip can save you and your family from the
mishaps of an accident. Tires blowing out during high speed is very
dangerous and the pointer in this video on how to control your car at
that moment is invaluable. Whether you are driving a Merc or a Kancil,
the effect is the same, as shown in the video. If it happens to the
back wheel, it's not so bad.

1. The warning is:"NEVER HIT YOUR BRAKES!"

 2. Release your foot on the accelerator & let the vehicle slow down by itself.

 3. Hold the steering firmly and keep your eyes on the road.

Saturday, November 10, 2012

How To Treat Dog Skin Rashes Naturally

found this..should have thought of Aloe Vera..let try if it will cure the dog rahses..

Tuesday, November 06, 2012

cost of living..

details break down comparison of cost of living..

Monday, November 05, 2012

Grab some chocolate, close your eyes and we'll show you how to be mindful

Grab some chocolate, close your eyes and we'll show you how to be mindful

QUESTION: How can you make one, small piece of chocolate taste like the best and most satisfying thing in the whole, wide world? Answer: eat it mindfully.
When your normal reaction to being given one piece of chocolate is to immediately start looking around for the next piece, feeling satisfied comes as a bit of a shock.

But that’s exactly what happened yesterday at the Mind and Its Potential Conference in Sydney. As the woman sitting behind me said: “I kept thinking to myself, ‘imagine all that wasted chocolate that I ate and never actually tasted’!”

She was right. As sensory experiences go, this was second to none. With our eyes closed and our full attention focused on the chocolatey task at hand, everything about the smell, texture and taste of that tiny piece was amplified.

That’s the power of mindfulness, Shamash Alidina told us soon afterwards. Alidina is one of Britain’s leading “mindfulness” coaches, and he is visiting Australia this week for the Mind and Its Potential conference.   

Mindfulness is the practice of keeping your attention in the present moment. That sounds obvious, until you realise that most people spend 50 per cent of their time “not” living in the moment.

According to Alidina, mindfulness is inhibited by the daily onslaught of worry, regrets and planning that can play like a continual loop in our minds. The good news is that starting to become mindful can be as simple as making the intention. 

“You need to say to yourself that for one period every day you will commit to a period of mindfulness,” Alidina said. 

“One way is to find a friend who’d also like to practice mindfulness and commit to eating one meal together every week in complete silence. 

“Just paying attention to the texture, the smell and the taste of each bite sets your mind in a good place.

“Another way would be to take a mindful walk every day. Instead of letting your thoughts wander, focus on your feet and how it feels to be taking steps,” he said. 
The second key to cultivating mindfulness is being kind to yourself. Mindfulness only works if you stop beating yourself up about what you may or may not be feeling.

“That happens when you redirect negative feelings and thoughts by accepting them.
The human mind is naturally wired to tend to the negative.

“It goes back to the time when we were cavemen and had to be alert and always on the watch for next predator or challenge, just to stay alive,” said Alidina.

Managing these thoughts can lead to a more successful life. Alidina suggests concentrating on creating a sense of curiosity about your negative thoughts.

“Ask yourself where in your body you “feel” sad or angry and notice if the feeling increases or decreases, just as a result of listening to your body.

“The surprising thing about negative feelings is that holding onto them makes them worse. Once you accept them and admit to them, you will immediately notice how much “lighter” you feel,” he said.

Acceptance however is not a euphemism for resignation or giving up.
“Say to yourself, I might not like how I feel but that’s how I am feeling right now. This acceptance helps you make room for that emotion and that in turn makes you less bothered by it,” he said.

Other useful facts about mindfulness:
  • It can help alleviate depression
  • Being mindful can be as simple as focusing on brushing your teeth
  • Once you’ve mastered mindfulness, you’ll find life will quickly become less habitual and more interesting
  • From:

  • November 01, 2012 12:33PM

    Thursday, November 01, 2012

    Movie Maker for .mov file

    finally found out that only in Window 7 the .mov file is supported by Window Movie Maker..

    let try with my PC with Window try to install Window Essential but take too long time, i come back to Vista now and found that can use codec to enable this..

    after instal this codec, window movie maker can run .mov file now..yes..

    now it take too long to publish...not working..cannot publish..

    found avs but need to pay, free version got watermark in the middle of the video..

    found this converter, pretty fast and simple to use..

    How to get rid of Hot Shield

    try to uninstall got this erorr

    au_.exe has stopped working

    found below seem like there is a repair tool..need to try it out

    Wednesday, October 31, 2012

    Dr Ferrari Millioanaire and Heaven

    Dr Richard Teo Keng Siang

    Recorded at the Dental Christian Fellowship , on 24 Nov 2011, 8 months after his diagnosis.

    Richard would have liked to share this with you. We are doing this to continue his work.

    Please have a read and leave it behind for someone else to benefit from his sharing.

    If you would like a copy, please let any of his family or close friends know and we will be able to provide both the audio recording as well as the transcript.

    Thank you, and may God bless you richly.

    Below is the transcript of the talk of Dr. Richard Teo, who was a 40-year-old millionaire and cosmetic surgeon with a stage-4 lung cancer, sharing at a Dental Christian Fellowship Meeting. He would have liked to share this with you too.


    Hi good morning to all of you. My voice is a bit hoarse from the chemotherapy, so please bear with me. I thought I'll just introduce myself. My name is Richard, I’m a friend of Danny’s, who invited me here.

    I’d just begin to say that I’m a typical product of today’s society. Before this, I was talking about how the media influences us etc. So I’m a typical product of what the media portrays. From young, I’ve always been under the influence and impression that to be happy, is to be successful. And to be successful, is to be wealthy. So I led my life according to this motto.

    Coming from a poor average family, back in those days, I was highly competitive, whether in sports, studies, leadership. I wanted it all. I’ve been there, done that. But at the end of the day, it’s still about money.

    So in my recent last years, I was a trainee in ophthalmology, but I was getting impatient, cos I had friends of mine who were going out into private practise, making tonnes of money. And there I was, stuck in a traineeship. So I said, ‘Enough, it’s getting too long.’ At that time, there was a surge in protégés of aesthetic medicine. I’m sure you’re aware, aesthetic medicine had peaked over the last few years, and I saw good money in there. So much so that I said, ‘Forget about ophthalmology, I’m gonna do aesthetic medicine.’ So that’s what I did.

    The truth is, nobody makes heroes out of the average GP in the neighbourhood. They don't. They make heroes out of rich celebrities, politicians, rich and famous people. So I wanted to be one of these. I dived straight into aesthetic medicine. People were not willing to pay when I was doing locum back in those days. Anything more than $30, they would complain that “Wah, this lo kun (doctor) jing qwee (very expensive)”. They made noise and they were not happy. But the same people were willing to pay $10 000 for a liposuction. So I said, ‘Well, let’s stop healing the sick, I’m gonna become a beautician; a medically-trained beautician.’

    And that was what I did – liposuction, breast augmentation, eyelid surgeries, you name it, we do it. It was very good money. My clinic, when we started off, waiting time was 1 week; 1 month; became 2 months; became 3 months. There was so much demand that people were literally queuing up to have aesthetic work done on them. Vain women – easy life!

    So the clinic grew. I was so overwhelmed, from 1 doctor, I employed 2, then 3, then 4 doctors, and carried on. Nothing is ever enough. I wanted more and more and more. So much so that we set up shop in Indonesia to lure all the Indonesian tai tai’s. We set up shop, set up a team of people there, to get more Indonesian patients to come in.

    So, things were doing well. I’m there, my time has arrived.

    Around some time in February last year, I said, ‘OK, I have so much spare cash, it’s time to get my first Ferrari. So there I was, getting ready for the deposit. ‘OK! There comes my first Ferrari!’ I was looking for land, to share with some of my friends. I have a banker friend who makes $5 million a year. So I thought, ‘Come, let’s come together. Let’s buy some land and build our houses.’

    I was at my prime, getting ready to enjoy. At the same time, my friend Danny had a revival. They were going back to church, some of my close friends. They told me, ‘Richard, come, join us, come back to church.’

    I have been a Christian for 20 years; I was baptised 20 years ago, but it was because it was fashionable to be a Christian then. All my friends were becoming Christians then. It was fashionable! I wanted to be baptised, so that when I filled in a form, I could put there “Christian” – feels good. In truth, I had never had a bible; I don’t know what the bible is all about.

    I went to church for a while, after some time, I got tired. I said it’s time to go to NUS, stop going to church. I had a lot more things to pursue in NUS – girls, studies, sports etc. After all, I had achieved all these things without God today, so who needs God? I myself can achieve anything I want.

    In my arrogance, I told them, “You know what? You go tell your pastor to change your sermon to 2pm. I will consider coming to church.” Such arrogance! And I said 1 statement in addition to that – till date, I don’t know I’ve regretted saying that – I told Danny and my friends, “If God really wanted me to come back to church, He will give me a sign.”. Lo and behold, 3 weeks later, I was back at church.


    In March 2011, out of the blues – I was still running around, ‘cause I’m a gym freak and I always go to the gym training, running, swimming 6 days a week. I had some backache, and that’s all I had, but it was persistent. And so I went for an MRI to exclude prolapsed disc. And the day before I had my scan, I was still in the gym, lifting heavy weights, doing my squats. And the next day, they found that half my spine had bone marrow replacement. I said, “Woah, sorry, what’s that?”

    We had a PET scan the next day, and they diagnosed that I had terminal lung cancer, stage 4B. It had spread to the brain, half the spine, whole of my lungs were filled with tumour, liver, adrenals…

    I said, “Can’t be, I was just at the gym last night, what’s going on?” I’m sure you know how it feels – though I’m not sure if you know how it feels. One moment I was there at the peak, the next day, this news came and I was totally devastated. My whole world just turned upside down.

    I couldn’t accept it. I have a hundred relatives on both sides, my mom and my dad. 100 of them. And not a single one has cancer. To me, in my mind, I have good genes, I’m not supposed to be having this! Some of my relatives are heavy chain smokers. Why am I having lung cancer? I was in denial.


    So the next day, I was still in a state of denial, still unable to accept what was going on. There I was lying in an operating theatre in a hospital, for a needle biopsy (for histology). There I was, just completed the biopsy, and lying in the operating theatre. The nurses and doctors had left; told me I had to wait for 15 minutes to do a check X-ray to make sure there’s no pneumothorax (a complication).

    And there I was, lying on the operating table, staring blankly at the ceiling in a cold, quiet operating theatre. Suddenly I just heard an inner voice; it was not like coming from outside. It was inside. This small inner voice that I had never felt before. And it said very specifically, it said, “This has to happen to you, at your prime, because it’s the only way you can understand.”

    I said, “Woah, why did that come from?” You know, when you speak to yourself, you’d say, “OK, what time should I leave this place? Where shall I have dinner after this?” You’d speak from a first person point of view. You don’t say, “Where should YOU go after this?” Whereas the voice that came spoke as a third party. It said, “This has to happen to YOU, at YOUR prime, because this is the only way YOU can understand.” At that time, my emotions just overflowed and I broke down and cried, alone there. And I knew then, subsequently, what it means to understand that why this is the only way.

    Because I had been so proud of myself, my whole life, I needed nobody else. I was gifted with things that I could do, why do I need anybody else? I was just so full of myself that there was no other way I could have turned back to God.

    In fact, if I were diagnosed with stage 1 or 2, I would have been looking around busily for the best cardiothoracic surgeon, remove a section of the lobe (do a lobectomy), do preventive chemotherapy…The chances of it being cured is extremely high. Who needs God? But I had stage 4B. No man can help, only God can.

    A series of events happened after that. I wasn’t sold after that, because of the inner voice, I became believing, prayers, all that. No I wasn’t. To me, it was just ‘maybe there was a voice; or maybe that was just me talking to myself.’ I didn’t buy the story.

    What happened next was that I was being prepared for chemotherapy. I started off with a whole brain radiation therapy first; takes about 2 -3 weeks. In the meantime they prepared me for chemotherapy, supplements etc. One of the things they used for chemo was a thing called Zometa. Zometa - they use it to strengthen the bones; once the bone marrow (replacement) is cured of cancer cells, it becomes hollow, so we need Zometa to strengthen the bone to prevent compression fractures.

    One of the side effects of Zometa is that it can cause osteonecrosis (bone death) of the jaw, and I had to have my wisdom teeth removed. Years ago, I had my upper wisdom teeth removed, cos it was giving me trouble. The lower ones didn’t give me trouble so I said, “Forget it, just leave it.” So of cause, Danny volunteered to remove it for me.

    So there I was, lying there in a dental chair, asking myself, suffering all the side effects of radiotherapy, and now I have to go through wisdom tooth surgery. As if I’ve not had enough to suffer! So I asked Danny, “Eh, bro, is there any other way? Can I not go though this?” He said, “Yes, you can pray.”

    I said, “What’s there to lose? Ok lah, pray lah!” And so we prayed. And we did an X-ray after that. Everything was all there, all the appliances and everything. And lo and behold, the Xray showed that there was no wisdom teeth in the lower jaw. I know most people have 4 wisdom teeth, maybe some have none, but to be missing one or 2, as I understand – I’m not too sure, as I understand – is not that common.

    Still I was, “Nah, I don’t care about that.” To me, as long as I didn’t have to take out the tooth, I was happy. At that point, I still wasn’t sold on prayers. Maybe it was just a coincidence – for whatever it’s worth.

    I continued meeting my oncologist, asking him, “How long do I have?” I asked him. He said, not more than 6 months. I said, “Even with chemotherapy?” About 3 – 4 months, he said.

    I couldn’t grasp that. It was difficult to come to terms. And even as I went through radiotherapy, I was struggling everyday, especially when I wake up, hoping that it’s just a nightmare; when I wake up, it’s all over.

    As I was struggling, day after day, I went into depression, which is the typical denial, depression blah blah blah that you go through. But for 1 reason, I don’t know why, there was this specific day that I was supposed to meet my oncologist. At about 2pm, I felt this sudden surge of peace, comfort, and in fact, a little happiness. It was just overflowing. For no rhyme or reason, it just came about 2pm, as I was getting ready, dressing up to meet my oncologist. So much so that I whats-apped all my friends that, “Bros, I just feel so good suddenly! I don’t know why, it just came!”

    And it was only days, or was it weeks after, that Danny revealed to me that he had fasted for 2 days for me, and he was bargaining with God, and fasted for 2 dyas, and he ended his fast at that exact same point, about 2pm thereabouts, that this surge of sensation came to me for no rhyme or reason. And I didn’t know that he was fasting for me. And when he ended the fast, I felt that sensation!

    Whoa, things were getting a bit too coincidental. I was starting to buy a bit of the story, but still I wasn’t sold. As days passed by, I completed my radiotherapy, about 2 weeks plus. Getting ready for chemo, so they let me rest for a few days.

    See, the mortality rate of lung cancer : Lung cancer has the highest mortality rate. If you add up breast, colorectal (colon) cancer, and prostate cancer (the top few cancers in Singapore for men and women), if you add up the mortality rate of these 3, it still doesn’t add up to lung cancer. Simply because, you understand, you can remove the prostate, the colon, the breast, but you cannot remove your lungs.

    But there’s about 10% of lung cancer patients who do pretty well for some reasons, because they have this specific mutation; we call it the EGFR mutation. And it happens, only 90% of the time, in Asian ladies who never smoked in their lives. Me, first of all, I’m male. 2ndly, I’m a social smoker. I take one a day after dinner; weekends, when my friends offer me, I take it as well. I’m a light smoker, not a social smoker. But still, my oncologist was still not hopeful for me to have this mutation.

    The chances of it happening for me was maybe 3-4% for me to get it. That’s why I was being primed to go for chemo. But through all the intense prayers, friends like Danny, people that I don’t even know, it turned out that, during my waiting for chemo, the results came back that I was EGFR positive. I was like, “Woah, good news!” Cos now I don’t have to undergo chemo at that time, because there’s this oral tablet that you can use to control this disease.

    Just to share with you some idea – this is a CT scan – thorax – of my lungs, before treatment.


    Every single dot there is a tumour. You can see all the mets (metastasis) there. This is just one single plane. Literally I had it in both lungs, and I had literally tens of thousands of tumour. That’s why the oncologist told me, even with chemo, at most 3-4 months.

    But because of this mutation, they have this oral medication. This is what happened after 2 months of treatment. As you can see over here; this is what God can do. And that’s why I’m still here having this opportunity to share with you. As you can see over here, the difference between before and after treatment.

    At that point, I said, “Well, it’s to be expected, isn’t it? The medicine is good.” I’m still not buying the story. Well, the guys prayed for me and the tumour markers started to come down. 90% of the tumours were wiped out, and the tumour markers came down to more than 90% over the next few months.

    But still, you know, once you have the clinical knowledge, you know the statistics. One year survival, two year survival; having all this knowledge is not a good thing. Cos you live with the knowledge that even with all this, the cancer cells are so unstable, they keep mutating. They will overcome and become resistant to the drugs, and eventually you’re gonna run out of medication.

    So living with this knowledge is a huge mental struggle, a huge mental torture. Cancer is not just about a physical struggle, it’s a huge mental torture. How do you live with no hope? How do you live with not being able to plan for the next few years? The oncologist tells you to bear with it for the next 1 – 2 months. So it’s a lot of struggles as I went through: March, then April. April was my lowest point, in deep depression, struggling even as I was recovering.


    And one of those days, I was there in bed, struggling in the afternoon, asking God, “Why? Why do I have to go through this suffering? Why do I have to endure this hardship, this struggle? Why me?”

    As I fell asleep, in my dreamy state, a vision just came, that says Hebrews 12:7-8.

    Now mind you, at this time, I had not read the bible. I have no clue what’s Hebrews, I don’t even know how many chapters there are. Totally clueless.

    But it says Hebrews 12:7-8, very specifically.

    I didn’t think too much of it. I just continued sleeping. Then I woke up, and I said, “What’s there to lose? I’d just check it out lah!” Danny had bought me a bible; it’s still quite new. I said, “It’s ok, just try.” So I flipped to the Old Testament. Hebrews to me sounds like something ancient, so it should be in the Old Testament right? So I flipped through the Old Testament. No Hebrews there. I was so disappointed.

    Then I said, “Maybe New Testament, let’s have a look!”. WOW – New Testament, there’s Hebrew’s!! It says Hebrews 12:7-8. It says, “Endure hardship as discipline as God is treating you as His children.”

    I said, “WAH!! Where did that come from?” I was getting goose pimples all over my body. I said, “This can’t be, right?” I mean, what’s the chance of somebody, who has never read the bible, to have a vision of a chapter of a specific verse, that answers my question directly?

    I think God called to me directly as I was there sleeping, struggling with it, asking God, “Why do I have to suffer? Why do I have to suffer this?” And God says “Endure hardship as discipline as God is treating you as His child.”

    At this point, the chance of that happening is even lesser than my EGFR being positive. There’s just no way; there’s so many millions of thousands of verses in the bible, how can I just conjure up something like that?

    So at that point, I was sold I said, “YOU WIN! YOU WIN!!”

    Ok , I was convinced. And so from that day onwards, I started believing in my God. And the last time I heard that inner voice was the end of April. And that inner voice, same thing, in the afternoon, as I was sleeping (this time I wasn’t struggling, just going to sleep). In a dreamy state I just heard Him say, “Help others in hardship.”

    It was more like a command, rather than a statement. And that’s when I embarked on this journey, helping others in hardship. And I realised that hardship is not just about being poor. In fact, I think a lot of poor people are probably happier than a lot of us here. They are so easily contented with whatever they have, they’re probably pretty happy.

    Hardship can happen to rich people; it can be physical hardship, mental hardship, social, etc. And also over the last few months, I started to understand what this true joy is about. In the past, I substituted true joy with the pursuing of wealth. I thought true joy is about pursuing wealth. Why? Cos let me put it to you this way, in my death bed, I found no joy whatsoever in whatever objects I had – my Ferrari, thinking of the land I was going to buy to build my bungalow etc, having a successful business.

    It brought me ZERO comfort, ZERO joy, nothing at all. Do you think I can hold onto this piece of metal and it’s going to give true joy? Nah, it’s not going to happen.

    True joy comes from interaction with other people. And at a lot of times, it is a short term pride, the past. When you pursue your wealth, Chinese New Year is the best time to do it. Drive my Ferrari, show off to my relatives, show off to my friends, do my rounds, and then you thought that was true joy? You really think that those guys who sold you your Ferrari, they share their joy with you? And your relatives, wow, they share this joy with you? In truth, what you have done is just to illicit envy, jealousy, and even hatred. They are not sharing the joy with you, and what I have is that short-term pride that wow, I have something you don’t have! And I thought that was joy!

    So what we have is basically a short-term pride at the expense of somebody else. And that wasn’t true joy. And I found no joy at all on my deathbed, thinking of my Ferrari – to hold on to it, sayang it?!?

    True joy I discovered comes from interaction. Over the last few months I was so down. Interaction with my loved ones, my friends, my brothers in Christ, my sisters in Christ, and only then was I able to be motivated, able to be uplifted. To share your sorrow, to share your happiness – that’s true joy.

    And you know what makes you smile? True joy comes from helping others in hardship, and because I’ve gone through this, I know what hardship entails. In fact, there’re some cancer patients who tell me a lot of times, people come up to them and tell them, “Stay positive. Stay positive.” Yah, right. You come in my shoes and you try to stay positive! You don’t know what you’re talking about!

    But I have the licence. So I’ve been going out to meet other fellow cancer patients, to share with them, encourage them. And I know, because I’ve been through it, and it’s easier for me to talk to them.

    And most importantly, I think true joy comes from knowing God. Not knowing about God – I mean, you can read the bible and know about God – but knowing God personally; getting a relationship with God. I think that’s the most important. That’s what I’ve learnt.

    So if I were to sum it up, I’d say that the earlier we sort out the priorities in our lives, the better it is. Don’t be like me – I had no other way. I had to learn it through the hard way. I had to come back to God to thank Him for this opportunity because I’ve had 3 major accidents in my past – car accidents. You know, these sports car accidents – I was always speeding , but somehow I always came out alive, even with the car almost being overturned. And I wouldn’t have had a chance. Who knows, I don’t know where else I’d be going to! Even though I was baptised it was just a show, but the fact that this has happened, it gave me a chance to come back to God.

    Few things I’d learnt though:
    1. Trust in the Lord your God with all your heart – this is so important.
    2. Is to love and serve others, not just ourselves.

    There is nothing wrong with being rich or wealthy. I think it’s absolutely alright, cos God has blessed. So many people are blessed with good wealth, but the trouble is I think a lot of us can’t handle it. The more we have, the more we want. I’ve gone through it, the deeper the hole we dig, the more we get sucked into it, so much so that we worship wealth and lose focus. Instead of worshipping God, we worship wealth. It’s just a human instinct. It’s just so difficult to get out of it.

    We are all professionals, and when we go into private practise, we start to build up our wealth – inevitably. So my thought are, when you start to build up wealth and when the opportunity comes, do remember that all these things don’t belong to us. We don’t really own it nor have rights to this wealth. It’s actually God’s gift to us. Remember that it’s more important to further His Kingdom rather than to further ourselves.

    Anyway I think that I’ve gone through it, and I know that wealth without God is empty. It is more important that you fill up the wealth, as you build it up subsequently, as professionals and all, you need to fill it up with the wealth of God.

    I think that’s about it. It’s good to share. Thanks.
    Eric Tham added a memorabilia for Dr Richard Teo Keng Siang